If you’re dating in 2025, you need a whole new vocabulary just to describe what’s happening to you.
Your friend is “soft launching” her new partner on Instagram. Your roommate is stuck in a “situationship.” That person you’re texting is definitely “breadcrumbing” you. Meanwhile, you’re “haunting” your ex while trying not to get “zombied” by someone from your past.
Did any of those words exist 10 years ago? No. But now they’re essential vocabulary for navigating the hellscape that is modern dating.
Let’s decode all these terms, explain why they exist, and help you figure out what’s actually happening in your dating life.
The Modern Dating Dictionary
Situationship
Definition: A romantic/sexual relationship that’s not officially defined. All the emotional involvement of a relationship without the commitment or label.
What it looks like:
- You hang out regularly
- You’re probably sleeping together
- You have inside jokes and emotional intimacy
- But you’re not “boyfriend/girlfriend”
- No conversation about exclusivity or the future
- Exists in ambiguous limbo
Why it happens:
- Fear of commitment
- One person wants more, other wants to keep it casual
- Neither person willing to define it
- “Going with the flow” turns into months of uncertainty
How to spot it: “What are we?” is a question you’re afraid to ask because you know the answer will disappoint you.
Red flags:
- Been going on for 6+ months
- You introduce them as “my friend” but you’re sleeping together
- Plans are last-minute and vague
- They won’t post you on social media
- “I’m not ready for a relationship” but acts like you’re in one
How to handle it: Have the DTR (Define The Relationship) talk. If they won’t define it after months, you have your answer—they don’t want what you want.
Breadcrumbing
Definition: Sending sporadic, non-committal messages to keep someone interested without any intention of pursuing a real relationship.
What it looks like:
- Random texts: “hey, thinking about you 😊”
- Just enough attention to keep you hooked
- Never makes concrete plans
- Disappears for days/weeks then reappears
- Keeps you on the back burner
Why it happens:
- Ego boost (they want to know you’re still interested)
- Backup option (in case other options don’t work out)
- Boredom (entertaining themselves)
- Genuine ambivalence (interested enough to text, not interested enough to commit)
How to spot it: You’re always waiting for texts that come randomly and lead nowhere. You feel confused about where you stand.
How to handle it: Stop responding. If someone wants to see you, they’ll make plans. Breadcrumbs are not a meal.
Soft Launching
Definition: Subtly introducing your new partner on social media without official announcement. Usually partial photos or vague references.
What it looks like:
- Photos where partner is partially visible (hand holding, back of head)
- Captions like “Good day ☺️” with someone cropped out
- Stories that hint at someone but don’t show faces
- Gradual increase in visibility
Why it happens:
- Testing the waters before going public
- Enjoying the mystery
- Avoiding questions from family/friends
- Previous relationship trauma (scared to go public then have to explain a breakup)
The psychology: Social media makes relationships public, so people soft launch to maintain privacy while still participating in relationship documentation.
Is it a red flag? Not necessarily in early stages. If it’s been six months and you’re still being soft launched, that’s different.
Hard Launching
Definition: The opposite of soft launching—making your relationship extremely public on social media.
What it looks like:
- Official couple photos
- Tagged posts
- “So happy with this one ❤️”
- Changing relationship status
The risk: Now everyone knows. Breakup will be public and awkward.
The trend: Gen Z is actually moving away from hard launches. Millennials hard launched everything. Gen Z keeps it more private.
Ghosting
Definition: Completely cutting off all communication with no explanation. The person disappears like a ghost.
What it looks like:
- Texts go unanswered
- Calls ignored
- No explanation or closure
- They vanish
Why it happens:
- Conflict avoidance
- Don’t know how to end things
- Lost interest and taking the coward’s way out
- Sometimes: genuine emergency (but rare)
The psychological impact: Devastating. Humans need closure. Ghosting denies that, leaving you wondering what happened.
How to handle it: Accept that you won’t get closure. Send one message asking if they’re okay. If no response, move on. They’ve shown you who they are.
Zombieing
Definition: When someone who ghosted you suddenly reappears like nothing happened. Ghost comes back from the dead = zombie.
What it looks like:
- Ghosted you three months ago
- Random text: “Hey! How’ve you been?”
- Acts like ghosting never happened
- Expects to pick up where you left off
Why it happens:
- Other options didn’t work out
- Feeling lonely or bored
- Genuine interest that overcame their anxiety
- Hoping you forgot they ghosted
How to handle it: “You ghosted me. Why should I give you another chance?”
Proceed only if they offer genuine apology and acknowledgment. Otherwise, they’ll ghost again.
Haunting
Definition: Not directly communicating but watching someone’s social media stories, liking occasional posts. Digital lurking.
What it looks like:
- You broke up or stopped talking
- They view every Instagram story
- Occasional likes on posts
- No actual communication
Why it happens:
- Still curious about your life
- Can’t fully let go
- Checking if you’ve moved on
- Keeping door slightly open
The psychology: Digital age allows presence without commitment. Can observe without engaging.
How to handle it: If it bothers you, block them. If not, ignore it.
Breadcrumbing’s Cousin: Benching
Definition: Keeping someone as a backup option while pursuing others. They keep you “on the bench” in case starters don’t work out.
What it looks like:
- Inconsistent communication
- Plans are tentative and often canceled
- You’re not a priority but not completely dismissed
- Attention increases when they sense you pulling away
How to spot it: You feel like an option, not a priority.
How to handle it: Refuse to be someone’s backup. You deserve to be chosen first.
Orbiting
Definition: Similar to haunting but more active. They’re removed from your life but still interact with your social media presence.
What it looks like:
- Commented on breakup/end of whatever you had
- Still likes posts, watches stories, maybe even comments
- Maintaining orbit around your life without direct contact
Why it’s frustrating: Prevents clean break. Keeps them in your awareness.
Love Bombing
Definition: Excessive attention and affection early in dating to create intense emotional bond quickly.
What it looks like:
- Constant texting and calls
- Over-the-top compliments
- Quick declarations of feelings (“I’ve never felt this way”)
- Grand gestures early on
- Future planning after a week (“We should travel together!”)
Why it happens:
- Sometimes genuine overwhelming attraction
- Often: Manipulation tactic (create dependence quickly)
- Narcissistic tendency
The danger: Creates false intimacy. Once you’re hooked, behavior often changes (withdrawal, control, criticism).
Red flag: Too much too soon. Healthy relationships build gradually.
Slow Fade
Definition: Gradually decreasing contact until relationship/situationship ends without explicit conversation.
What it looks like:
- Texts get less frequent
- Takes longer to respond
- Plans become sparse
- Eventually communication stops
- No official ending
Why it happens:
- Conflict avoidance
- Hoping you’ll get the hint
- Easier than having “the talk”
How it differs from ghosting: Ghosting is sudden. Slow fade is gradual.
How to handle it: Call it out: “I’m noticing we’re talking less. Are you still interested in this?”
Cuffing Season
Definition: Fall/winter phenomenon where people who’d normally be single seek relationships for the cold months.
Timeline: October through February
Why it happens:
- Holidays approaching (want someone for events)
- Cold weather (want someone to cuddle)
- Biological (seasonal affective disorder increases need for connection)
What to watch for: Relationships started in cuffing season often don’t last past spring. When weather warms, people break up.
Stashing
Definition: Keeping a relationship secret from friends and family while maintaining it publicly in other ways.
What it looks like:
- You hang out regularly
- But haven’t met their friends or family
- They don’t post you on social media
- You exist in a bubble
Why it’s problematic: Usually means they’re not serious about you. Or they’re hiding you for a reason (already in relationship, embarrassed, keeping options open).
Cookie Jarring
Definition: Keeping someone as a backup option in your “cookie jar” to snack on when convenient.
Similar to: Benching and breadcrumbing
What it looks like:
- They reach out when lonely or bored
- No consistent effort
- You’re one of several people in their rotation
How to spot it: You always feel like they’re simultaneously talking to others. Because they are.
Why Modern Dating Has So Many Terms
Reason 1: Technology Changed Everything
- Dating apps gamified relationships
- Ghosting is easier when you never actually met in person
- Social media creates new stages of relationships (soft launch, hard launch)
- Multiple conversations happening simultaneously
Reason 2: Commitment Is Harder
- Fear of missing out (what if there’s someone better?)
- Paradox of choice (too many options)
- Dating culture rewards keeping options open
- Economic instability makes life planning hard
Reason 3: Communication Has Changed
- Text-based communication lacks nuance
- Easier to avoid difficult conversations
- Can curate persona online
- Multiple forms of contact (text, DM, Snap, etc.)
Reason 4: We’re Naming Experiences That Always Existed
Some of this isn’t new—people have always been noncommittal or played games. But now we have words for it, which makes it easier to identify and discuss.
Red Flags vs. Yellow Flags vs. Green Flags
🚩 Red Flags (Run):
- Love bombing followed by withdrawal
- Won’t define relationship after 6+ months
- Breadcrumbs you consistently
- Hides you from everyone in their life
- Ghosts then zombies repeatedly
- Disrespects boundaries
⚠️ Yellow Flags (Proceed with Caution):
- Slow fade when overwhelmed (might be legit anxiety)
- Soft launch for first few months (could be privacy preference)
- Situationship that both people are genuinely okay with
- Haunting/orbiting post-breakup (might be processing)
✅ Green Flags (Good Signs):
- Clear communication about intentions
- Defines relationship when it makes sense
- Consistent effort and attention
- Integrates you into their life
- Respects boundaries
- Handles conflict maturely
How to Protect Yourself in Modern Dating
1. Know What You Want
Before dating, get clear:
- Relationship or casual?
- Exclusive or non-exclusive?
- What’s non-negotiable?
2. Communicate Expectations Early
Within a few dates: “I’m looking for something serious. Is that what you’re looking for?”
3. Have the DTR Talk
If things are ambiguous after a month or two, initiate the conversation: “What are we doing here? I’d like to define this.”
4. Don’t Accept Crumbs
If someone’s breadcrumbing, benching, or stashing you—walk away. You deserve consistency.
5. Watch Actions, Not Words
- Says they want relationship but acts like they don’t? Believe actions.
- Claims they’re busy but has time for everyone else? They’re not that busy.
- Promises to do better but doesn’t? They showed you who they are.
6. Set Boundaries
- “I’m not okay with situationships.”
- “If we’re dating, I need it to be exclusive.”
- “I need consistent communication.”
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Walk Away
Dating shouldn’t feel like constant confusion and anxiety. If it does, it’s probably not right.
The Bottom Line
Modern dating has created an entire vocabulary because modern dating is complicated.
The good news: Having words for these behaviors makes them easier to identify and address.
The bad news: These behaviors exist because dating culture has become avoidant, noncommittal, and often unkind.
What you can control:
- Your standards
- Your communication
- Your willingness to walk away from situations that don’t serve you
What you can’t control:
- Other people’s behavior
- Dating culture as a whole
- Whether apps make dating better or worse
The truth: Most of these terms describe avoidant or manipulative behavior. Healthy relationships don’t need this vocabulary because healthy relationships involve clear communication, consistency, and commitment.
If you’re constantly trying to decode someone’s behavior, that’s your answer. In healthy situations, you don’t wonder where you stand because the person tells you.
Dating doesn’t have to be this complicated. It’s only complicated when people make it so.
Find someone who doesn’t make you need a decoder ring. Find someone who’s clear about what they want. Find someone who chooses you consistently.
Everything else is just noise.