The dating landscape has evolved. So have the warning signs.
Dating in 2025 is a whole different beast than it was even five years ago. The pandemic rewired how we connect, apps have evolved (or devolved, depending on who you ask), and we’ve collectively developed a new set of neuroses. Naturally, a fresh batch of red flags has emerged.
Some of these are genuinely concerning. Others are just… signs that someone grew up chronically online. Either way, you should probably know what you’re looking at.
The Digital Red Flags
They Have “Hinge Fatigue” But Won’t Meet People IRL
Look, we all have dating app fatigue. That’s not the red flag. The red flag is when someone complains endlessly about apps but refuses to try literally any other way to meet people. No singles events, no hobby groups, no getting set up by friends—just infinite scrolling and complaining.
What it signals: They might enjoy the validation of matching more than they want an actual relationship. Or they’re just really, really afraid of putting themselves out there.
Their Social Media Presence Is Suspiciously Curated
Not talking about having a nice aesthetic. Talking about someone whose Instagram is perfectly curated but when you hang out, nothing about them matches their feed. Every photo is a thirst trap or an influencer-style “candid.” Everything about their life looks aspirational but feels… hollow.
What it signals: They’re more invested in their personal brand than in being a real person. Good luck competing with their follower count for their attention.
They Screenshot Everything For “The Group Chat”
Your vulnerable moment? Screenshot. Your slightly awkward text? Screenshot. Your “good morning” text with a typo? You better believe that’s getting analyzed in their group chat.
What it signals: They view dating as entertainment for their friends, not as building something with another person. You’re not a potential partner—you’re content.
They’re “Too Busy” to Text But Post Stories All Day
They can’t respond to your text for 8 hours, but they’ve posted 15 Instagram stories about their very busy, very important day. Sure, they’re overwhelmed—but not too overwhelmed to maintain their social media presence.
What it signals: You’re not a priority. If someone likes you, they find the 30 seconds to text back.
Excessive “Trauma Dumping” Before You’ve Even Met
Sharing vulnerable things = healthy and good. Unloading your entire therapeutic journey in the first three DMs = red flag.
There’s a difference between being open and using a stranger as an unpaid therapist. If they’re telling you about their abusive ex, their complex family dynamics, and their mental health struggles before you’ve even met for coffee, that’s a boundary issue.
What it signals: They might not be ready to date, or they’re testing if you’ll play therapist/savior.
The Post-Pandemic Behavioral Red Flags
“I’m Just Not a Texter”—In 2025
In 2015, okay, maybe. But we all just lived through a pandemic where texting was our primary form of communication. We’ve all been doing it. If someone is still claiming they’re “not a texter,” they’re choosing not to make an effort with you.
Exception: They’re genuinely phone-averse across the board and communicate that clearly. But they should be suggesting calls or FaceTimes as an alternative.
They Want to Move Extremely Fast OR Extremely Slow
Wanting to be exclusive after two dates? Red flag. Not wanting to meet in person after two months of daily texting? Also a red flag.
The pandemic messed with everyone’s pacing, but at this point, we should be back to reasonable timelines. If someone’s timeline feels wildly off in either direction, trust that gut feeling.
What it signals: Rushing = love bombing or avoidance of building real intimacy. Stalling = they’re emotionally unavailable, already in a relationship, or just enjoying the attention without commitment.
They’re “Focusing on Themselves” But Still Swiping Daily
If they’re in their healing era and really focusing on themselves, what are they doing on Hinge? This isn’t about shaming people for being on apps—it’s about actions matching words.
What it signals: They want the validation and attention of dating without the actual vulnerability and commitment of dating.
Bringing Up Their Ex Constantly (But Claiming They’re Over It)
“I’m totally over them, but they used to do this thing that you’re doing…” “My ex would have hated this restaurant.” “This reminds me of when my ex and I…”
They’re not over it. They might think they are. They’re not.
What it signals: You’re going to be competing with a ghost. Everything will be compared to what was or what wasn’t in that relationship.
The Communication Red Flags
“I Don’t Like Labels”—When You’re Clearly Dating
Exclusively sleeping together? Doing relationship things? Meeting each other’s friends? But calling it a “relationship” is too much?
In 2025, after years of “situationships” being the norm, this is just someone who wants the benefits of a relationship without the accountability.
What it signals: They want to keep their options open while keeping you invested.
They Refuse to Have Difficult Conversations
You try to bring up something that bothered you, and they immediately shut down, deflect, get defensive, or ghost for a few days. Any attempt at addressing conflict is met with “why are you always starting drama?”
What it signals: They’ve never learned to handle conflict in relationships, and they’re not going to start learning now. You’ll suppress your needs to keep the peace until you explode.
Love Bombing Followed by Sudden Distance
Week one: “You’re incredible, I’ve never felt this way, you’re exactly what I’ve been looking for, let me introduce you to my family.”
Week three: Takes 24 hours to respond to texts, suddenly very busy, emotional distance.
What it signals: Either they’re a manipulator running a classic love bombing cycle, or they have an anxious-avoidant attachment style they’re unaware of. Either way, it’s a rollercoaster you don’t want to be on.
They Communicate Exclusively Through Memes or TikToks
Sending memes = fun and good. Using memes as a replacement for actual conversation = red flag.
If every response to a question is a TikTok link, if they can’t express their feelings without a meme, if vulnerability is always deflected with humor, that’s an issue.
What it signals: They’re not comfortable with real intimacy or don’t know how to be vulnerable. You’re going to have a very surface-level relationship.
The Values and Lifestyle Red Flags
They’re Judgmental About Mental Health Treatment
“Therapy is just people being weak.” “Antidepressants are a crutch.” “You should just try yoga/meditation/eating clean.”
In 2025? Absolutely not. We’ve moved past this. Mental health stigma is a dealbreaker.
What it signals: They lack empathy and probably won’t be supportive when you’re struggling.
They Have Zero Friends
Not talking about being an introvert with a small circle. Talking about someone who legitimately has no friends, hangs out with no one, and seems to have burned every bridge.
Sometimes there are legitimate reasons (moved recently, going through a tough time). But if they’re 28 and haven’t maintained a single friendship? That’s worth investigating.
What it signals: They might have serious interpersonal issues. People who can’t maintain any friendships often struggle in romantic relationships too.
Financial Irresponsibility Masquerading as “Living in the Moment”
There’s spontaneity, and then there’s recklessness. If they’re constantly broke but also constantly buying things they don’t need, that’s not free-spirited—that’s a problem.
What it signals: Money fights are one of the top relationship killers. If you have fundamentally different values around finances, it’s going to be rough.
They’re Rude to Service Workers
This one isn’t new, but it’s always relevant. Watch how they treat waiters, baristas, Uber drivers, anyone in a service position.
What it signals: Once the honeymoon phase ends, this is how they’ll treat you.
“I’m Just Being Honest” = Excuse for Being Mean
“I’m just a brutally honest person” usually means “I say hurtful things and refuse to take accountability.”
Honesty without kindness is cruelty. If they pride themselves on telling it like it is, they probably lack tact and empathy.
What it signals: They’re going to hurt your feelings regularly and tell you you’re too sensitive when you bring it up.
The Self-Awareness Red Flags
They’re “An Empath” or “A Sigma Male”
Anyone who seriously identifies as an empath is usually the least empathetic person you’ll meet. Same goes for anyone who uses terms like “sigma male” or “high-value woman” unironically.
What it signals: They learned about relationships from Instagram infographics and TikTok self-help, not from actual experience or therapy.
Every Ex Is “Crazy”
If they have a string of “crazy” exes, one of two things is true:
- They have terrible judgment in partners (red flag)
- They’re the problem (bigger red flag)
What it signals: They take zero accountability for relationship dynamics. You’ll be the next “crazy ex” when it ends.
They Refuse to Go to Therapy But Clearly Need It
Everyone can benefit from therapy, but some people really, really need it and refuse to go. If they’re clearly struggling, acknowledge it, but refuse to seek help, that’s a red flag.
What it signals: They expect you to be their therapist, or they’re not willing to do the work on themselves.
The Situationship Red Flags
They’re “Just Seeing Where Things Go” for Six Months
Month one: Sure, let’s see where this goes. Month six: Okay, where is it going?
If they’re still “seeing where things go” months in, they know where it’s going—nowhere—they just don’t want to be the bad guy who says it.
What it signals: They’re comfortable with you, but you’re not the person they want long-term. You’re just convenient.
They Only Want to Hang Out Late Night
If every hangout is after 10 PM and usually ends at their place, you’re not dating—you’re a booty call with extra steps.
What it signals: They don’t want to be seen with you in public, or they’re saving prime time for other people.
You’ve Never Met Anyone Important to Them
After several months of dating, you haven’t met their friends, family, or anyone who matters to them? Red flag.
What it signals: You’re being kept separate from their real life for a reason. Either they’re not serious, or they’re hiding you (or hiding something from you).
The Bottom Line
Here’s the thing about red flags: one or two don’t necessarily mean the person is undateable. We all have our issues. The question is: are they aware of their issues and working on them?
Someone who recognizes their communication problems and is actively trying to improve? Green flag.
Someone who has the same issues but refuses to acknowledge them or gets defensive when you bring them up? Giant red flag.
Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. You’re not being paranoid or too picky—you’re being discerning. That’s actually a sign of emotional health.
And remember: you’re allowed to have dealbreakers. You’re allowed to say “that’s not going to work for me” and walk away. You’re allowed to prioritize your peace over someone’s potential.
The right person won’t feel like a collection of red flags you’re trying to ignore. They’ll feel like someone you can actually build something with. And those people exist—they’re just harder to find than the red flag parade.
Stay picky. Stay aware. And for the love of everything, if they say “I’m not like other guys/girls,” run. That’s the oldest red flag in the book, and it’s still waving strong in 2025.
What’s your most recent dating red flag discovery? Let’s commiserate in the comments.